“No, John, you won’t understand. But the restraint exercised by her instinctive delicacy was very great; over and above coarse or sexual matters it covered religion and politics and any mention of money matters or crime, and Ann Veronica found herself wondering whether these exclusions represented, after all, anything more than suppressions. Was it VERY horrible? I tried to get into the police-court, but the crowd was ever so much too big, push as I would. She—She can snub him. But—it’s one of the things I’ve just been thinking over. . But it never said: "Tell someone! Tell someone!" Was he something of a moral pervert, then? Was it what he had lost—the familiar world—rather than what he had done? He stared dully at the footrail. Alcohol— would you believe it?—steadies his nerves and keens his brain: which is against the laws of gravitation, you might say. I can’t just go up to Josh and ask him out, even though I fantasize about doing just that all the time. In this hour its colossal selfishness never occurred to him. Nine years ago, I was honest—was happy.
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